Friday, August 17, 2007 ♥
Naive or stupid? ♥ 11:22 PM
Recently, everybody has been calling me for help so much so that i'm a little afraid of picking up the phone. And everytime, i try to go out of my way to help simply because i really care for my friends and i want the best for them. Yet, this cannot go on forever. It is not that i do not want to help but there is a fine line between using me and being a friend. Although i keep reminding myself that i don't expect anything in return but really, i do appreciate a simple thank you. Besides, I can't help every single one of my friend or i can stop my studies and be Mother Theresa.
Perhaps because of my reluctance to say no, i hurt myself in the end. I became the person who needed help but being that idiotic me, i think that i can solve everything myself. I'm sorry i blew up when i got to your home. I didn't mean to but if i didn't, i will go crazy.
Strange that i was always the one who called to say 'how are you'
Strange that when you asked me something, i most probably do it.
Strange that it was always i, who visit you and never the other way round.
Strange that those people who say how they will miss me hardly talk to me now
Strange that people who say i'm their best friend moved on so quickly
Strange that it is those people in the background are those who really cared for me
Strange that you promised so much yet never did any
Strange that you are always busy
Strange that you get disappointed in me when i'm also a mere human with weaknesses
Strange that you could not accept me for what i am when i could for you
Strange that you expect me to shut up and act demure
Strange that when i cried, you were never there.
Strange that you had changed so much.
I wish i was not so naive and trust in people so simply. Someone once told me that it is both my strength and weakness.I can't see how it is a strength. Could you?
Although i said i want to be alone, a small little part of me wish that somebody was there. There to be with me, and give me a big bear hug to take away all these sadness but this is probably not possible because... in your eyes, i'm a mere tool. I miss all my royal subjects:(
Hugs are free but why are you all so stingy with them?
Post note: I tend to forget, when one of the family member knows, the whole family knows:S
♥ Princess Serene