Sunday, February 25, 2007 ♥
Back to Perth again ♥ 10:54 PM
Perhaps, after knowing Perth more, i appreciate my homeland better. Homeland to me afterall is Singapore where i spent almost all my life in. Despite being Malaysian, i have totally nothing that identify with Malaysia sadly. Digressing.
The days before i were to move over to Perth is of bitter sweet memories. The convenience of getting anywhere anytime in Singapore is one that i would miss most. Being unable to drive legally in Perth is like losing my two legs. I rather not go anywhere especially now since i didn't expect that the weather is eerily similar to Singapore's minus access to aircon. However, i have the responsibility to attend classes as a full time student. Hence this equates to going for all lessons. I'll always remember that my aim here is to study hard and score well. Not only to make my parents proud but also to give glory to God that it is only through His grace and mercy that i am able to do well. Being alone here could sometimes be daunting yet sometimes inviting. Somehow, i know that my Heavenly Father is always looking out for me and that compared to many other overseas students, i'm fortunate that i KNOW who i can rely on. Ironically, it is during these times that i learn even more to trust in Him and draw near to Him.
I'm an emotionally charged person and i'm not ashamed to say that i cry often. Sometimes, crying really helps. After a bout of crying and prayer, i will naturally feel better. Maybe this is an outlet for my emotions. I do not deny that prior to my departure to Perth, i shed some tears. How could i not? Not that i intended to cry but these tears just came so naturally. You know, each time i have to leave you guys, it is really emotionally draining. I am confused. Where was my home really? Is it Perth or Singapore? Sometimes, i feel that i want to stay in Perth forever. Remembered how i whined in my previous post when i went back to Singapore for my summer break that i already missed Perth? There is so many things here worth staying for. Nice weather(at least sometimes), laidback lifestyle, nice people. Maybe, after i passed my driving test, that increased mobility could even be an added incentive to stay. Yet, Singapore is where my past had been from. My dearest friends, the people in church who saw me grow up. How could i leave? Seriously, i feel torn between the two places.
Today, it took a lot of strength just to hold back the tears. I learn to appreciate better then i realised what i lost. My parents left a day earlier to Taiwan. It was me who encouraged them to go. I don't want to be crying on the day that i left. I told you, living away from home then coming back home allows you to see things you never noticed before. In Perth, i dreadfully miss the hugs and kisses from my parents. Or that there is somebody to nag you. I sound ridiculous saying this but it is true. Honestly, i already miss them. Yes, even Alvin even though he doesnt miss me back.
I thank God that from the time i arrived in Perth, i'm fully distracted that i forgot that i'm sad and lonely. I never have to experience the sensation of being left alone in my room. Always, Debbie jie or some church members will bring me out, have dinner with other church members and just being there. I am actually so blessed.
If this blog entry seems incomprehensive to you, perhaps this is the result of the grand total of 6 hours of sleep i had the last two days. I'm too tired to unpack. Tomorrow is the start of my new semester. Good night.
P.s: Thank you all that came to send me off. You guys are very sweet:)
♥ Princess Serene
